Tik Tok
by jodiexluvsxanime
Summary: "Wake up in the morning... next to guys?" Jodie blinks confused "Ok who wrote this script?" "STFU and do the intro!" Lanie growls "I just wana know who wrote this crappy script" "Thats mean I spent a lot of time on that" Kristy pouts "Great No more room"
1. Meet the girls

**Jodie P.O.V**

I open my eyes and lazily look around.

This isn't my bed.

I note the the extreme softness.

And this sure isn't my room.

I stare at the carrot top sleeping next to me.

"I'll just... Go back to sleep..." I whisper, laying down.

**Kristy P.O.V**

When I rolled into the extra body, I thought it was just Jodie or Lanie.

But when I saw blonde hair, I couldn't help but to scream.

"OH MY FUCKING GOD WHO ARE YOU!" I scream in the blonde's face, rolling out the bed.

His eyes fly open and he stares down at me, "What the hell, un! Where did you come from!"

A red-head looks up from his bed and narrows his eyes, "Grab her."

Before I could react, the red-head had slung my over his shoulder and was walking out.

"PUT ME DOWN! HELLLP! JODIE! LANIE!" I kick my feet, hoping to nail him in the stomach. "PUT ME DOWN! MY HAIR LOOKS A MESS!"

**Lanie P.O.V**

I'm awoken by screaming.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP AND JUST FINISH HER OFF!" I screech, thinking it was yet another murder outside.

And sadly, that does happen a lot in my neighborhood.

"Holy shit!" A guy voice exclaims. "I did NOT bring you home last night!"

"EH!" My eyes fly open. "WHO ARE YOU!"

"How should I know? This is MY room!"

"Hn." A different voice says.

"Oh... My..." I shreik in a fangirl way.

It was THE ITACHI.

He stands up tiredly and yawns.

I spring out of Kisame's bed and glomp the Uchiha, yelling fangirl gibberish.

"The hell..."

**Jodie P.O.V**

I sigh as screams start to fill the house(wherever I was).

"What the hell is going on?" The carrot-top grumbles.

"I think my friends just woke up and realized they were in the house of their dreams." I chuckle. "And so am I."

Pein glances at me, then hesitates when he sees the look in my eyes.

"Get out my bed." He glares.

"Noo! I caan't!" I whine.

"And why not."

"I don't have any clothes on!"

He pauses to stare.

That was true, cause all I went to sleep in was a thin bra and some panties cause it was hot!

I didn't expect to wake up in the Akatsuki's house!

I push the thought from my mind, and get my rape face back on, "Hey Pein-sama~..."

He gives me one of those warning looks the police always give me.

"Can you make me some waffles?" I change the subject.

-_- He gives me an are you serious look.

"Get out."

"What? Noo! I need clothes!" I whine again.

He kicks out his foot and knocks me out the bed.

I cling onto the blanket and wrap it around my self.

"How did I get here!" I snap.

"How should I know? You snuck in!"

"I did not! Someone brought my here and now I'm like, What the hell just happened?"

"LIES."

"YOU LIE!"

Pein gets up, grabs an edge of the blanket, and drags me out the room into the chaos in the hallway.

"JODIE-CHAN! HEELP!" My two friends scream.

"Eh? No thanks." I shrug.

"Hey wait! Why're you not being carried!" Lanie snaps.

"Because I wouldn't leave the safety of the blanket." I laugh, standing up, and wrapping the blanket around me like a towel. "NOW I COMMAND YOU TO PUT MY FRIENDS DOWN!"

I'm totally ignored.

While they're busy yelling and screaming, I ditch the blanket and grab and Akatsuki cloak out of some random room.

I scream extremely loud until I have everyone's attention.

"Thank you." I take a deep breath. "Now what the hell is... Going... On...?"

I stare as more and more people file into the hallway.

Pein starts talking(making everyone put each other down) and I don't pay attention.

I was to busy staring at all my favorite Akatsuki members.

I didn't snap out of it until SOMEONE said something.

"Eh? Jodie! Quit drooling!" Kristy snaps me out of my thoughts. "And listen to Pein-sama talk!"

"I'm hungry..." I mumble.

Cue sweatdrop.

From everyone.

"Did you even hear a word I just said!" Pein exclaims.

"Yes."

"Then what did I say?"

"You said Jodie is the most awesomest person in the world and that your happy you woke up and found her in your bed." I say smugly.

"No. Not at all." Pein's eye twitches. "I said would you like to join the Akatsuki?"

"OMG YOSH!" I glomp the leader to the ground. "YOU ARE THE SINGLE MOST BEST PERSON IN THE WHOLE WIDE WOORRRLD!"

"If I were a rich girl! Nanananananananananananaa! See I'd have all the money in the worl, if I were a wealthy gi-ir-irrrl." Lanie randomly sings.

"Lanie." I sit up.

"Yah?"

"That had nothing to do with what I just said."

"SO!"

"You guys are idiots." Kristy facepalms.

"SO!" We both yell. "WE'RE ALSO CUDDLY!"

Kristy snickers but tries to keep her cool face.

I start singing, "Kristy and-"

"BLEEP!" Lanie helpfully bleeps the name out.

"-Sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G! First they get married! Then they have-"

"BLEEP!"

"-then comes-"

"BLEEP!"

"-with a baby carriage!" I laugh.

"Whas going on?" Tobi stumbles out the room looking extremly tired.

Freeze.

Lanie P.O.V

I grab onto Jodie's wrist.

"No Jodie. Don't do it." I hiss.

"Must. Relase. Fangirl. Instincts." She gets wide-eyed and starts trying to move.

"Nooo! Bad Jodie! Sit! Stay! Uh. Roll over!"

"Tobi's confused..." Tobi mutters. "Who're they?"

"RUN TOBI! RUN LIKE THE WIND!" Kristy yells as Jodie breaks loose.

And run Tobi does.

And Jodie chased after, screeching like a maniac.

"TOBI-SAMA!" She screams. "COME BAACK!"

"Since when did he upgrade to 'sama'?" I question.

"Depends on her mood." Kristy shrugs, watching the two. "This feels like another episode of Chowder!"

"COME BAACK!" Jodie whines, followed by more stuff I couldn't make out.

"I know right? The only thing missiing is-"

"I'M NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND!"

Me and Kristy burst out laughing at this.

They finally come past us again, Tobi cowering behind Pein, while Jodie just collapsed on the ground.

"Wow Tobi." I say between laughs. "Where were you when we had to run the mile?"

"What's that suppose to mean, un?" Deidara joins the conversation.

"Well, at our old school, we had to run a mile every Wednesday," Kristy explains.

"Oh shut up!" Jodie huffs.

"And when Jodie ran the mile, she walked the whoole time, except the beginning 5 seconds! She did so bad, she didn't even get a time! And then, with Tobi here, she just ran extremely fast."

"Quit telling stories about my life and help me!" Jodie rolls over onto her back. "Imma bout to die!"

"What about Tobi?" I joke.

"I'll try again after breakfast." She stumbles to her feet and zombie walks to the kitchen.

"What. Was. That." Kakuzu stares after her.

"That's called being a total die-hard Akatsuki fangirl." Kristy chuckles. "We're all fangirls... Just not as much as her."

"WHO LEFT ONLY A FEW DROPS OF MILK IN THE CARTON!" Jodie screams.

"Ooo, she's reeally hungry now... Hidan go make her some food!" I order.

"Why the fuck should I?" Hidan retorts.

"Because your immortal."

Jodie comes stomping in, "And if you don't I'll drug you and Orochimaru AND Zetsu and have them fuck the life out of you."

"Damn, you must be hungry." I shake my head disapointedly. "That was your worst threat ever!"

"Shut up!"

"Or?"

"I'll rip out your eyes, stuff 'em down your throat and shove your own head up your ass!"

"That's my girl!" I pat her back. "Now let's go get you some food!"

"Yay!" She cheers and skips to the kitchen.

**Kristy P.O.V**

I watch as Jodie skips down the hall, Lanie following her walking.

"Is she gone?" Tobi peeks out from behind Pein.

"For now, but when she's done eating..." I shrug.

"LUCKY CHARMS! OH MY GOD YES!"

This jolts Tobi... Somehow.

"THOSE ARE TOBI'S LUCKY CHARMS!" Tobi screams, running to the kitchen.

"That was... Weird." I point out.

"This is gonna be a long day..." Pein grumbles, massaging his temples.

"How come your not running around attacking people, un?" Deidara pokes me.

"Cause have more than a quart of sanity and self control." I shrug. "And... I'm not in the mood."

"Oh shit, these are moods?" Pein smacks his forehead. "What have I done?"

There's many screams and singing from the kitchen, so we go check it out.

**Jodie P.O.V**

I hold the Lucky Charms up in the air and sing, "NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP! NEVER GONNA LET YOU DOWN! NEVER GONNA RUN AROUND OR DESERT YOU!"

The Akatsuki and Kristy were slowly filing in, watching the scene unfold.

"NEVER GONNA MAKE YOU CRY! NEVER GONNA SAY GOOD BYE! NEVER GONNA RUN AROUND OR HURT YOU!"

Tobi tackles me to the ground and grabs for the cereal box.

I scream, "NO! THEY'RE MINE!"

"NOOOO THEY'RE MINE!"

"MINE!"

"MINE!"

"RAPE!"

"Huh?"

"Just share the cereal." Kristy rolls her eyes.

"Noo!"

"Why not! There's enough for both of you?"

"It's not that!" Tobi joins the arguement.

"It's the principal." I add.

"The... The principal?" kristy stares at the two of us.

"YES." Me and Tobi yell, then go back to arguing.

"Well, I tried." Kristy shrugs, getting a bowl of Apple Jacks.

"Oh! Oh! I know!" Tobi gets off of me. "We could get one big bowl, pour alll the cereal in it, and we can both eat it!"

"Tobi." I put my hands on Tobi's shoulders.

"Yeah?"

"THAT IS THE GREATEST IDEA EVER!"

So we get a big ass silver bowl and pour all the Lucky charms in, add some milk that I hadn't noticed before, and sit at the table.

Lanie gives us both big spoons, "Bon Appetite!"

"eh?" Tobi stares at her.

"It's French for eat your damn food and like it!"

He shrugs, lifts up his mask some, and digs in.

"Wait-Wait-Wait!" I stop him by holding his head still. "Why do YOU get first bite?"

He smirks, "Because I'm Tobi!"

"Well what if I want first bite?"

"Then... Oh well! Tobi wants it!"

"Haven't you ever heard of ladies first?"

"Ever heard of respect your elders?"

"Ever heard of youngest always go first?"

"Ever heard of brains before beauty?"

"Would you guys just eat the damn cereal!" Kristy exclaims.

"STAY OUT OF IT!" Me and Tobi yell at her. "THIS IS A IMPORTANT CONVERSATION!"

Kristy slams her head down on the table and covers her ears.

"Well... Wait! Since when am I brains and your beauty? I'm beauty, your brains!" I huff.

"Since when?" Tobi says back.

"Since... Forever!"

"How bout Tweedle Dumb before Tweedle Dee, un?" Deidara jokes.

...

"I'M TWEEDLE DUMB!" Me and Tobi start up again. "NO YOUR NOT! CUT THAT OUT! YOU FIRST! STOP THAT!"

We pause for a moment.

"How bout Jodie's awesome and rules the world and Tobi gets second bite!" I come up with a new one.

"How bout, Tobi wins?"

We both shove our spoons in at the same time and take the first bite at the same time.

"Mmmmmm... Lucky Charms..."

"That was entertaining." Lanie snickers. "And Tobi was just running from her!"

"All fangirlism is off when eating a bowl of Lucky Charms." I huff.

"Oh! I just thought of another one!" I announce as the Akatsuki back out the room.

"Which is?"

"Newbie before Sempai!"

I pause for another moment before I lean over and lick his mask.

I was curious? OK!

"LANIE YOU LIE!" I start throwing spoons and plastic cups at her. "IT DIDN'T TASTE LIKE LOLLIPOPS!"

"I didn't think-HAHAHAA-you would-HAHA-try!" She says, laughing her ass off.

"Well you thought wrong!" I start throwing sponges and soap at her.

"Ow! Soap hurts!" She starts running away.

"Damn right it does!" I chase after her with a hand ful of soap.

"What the hell is going on in here!" Pein booms.

"LANIE SAID TOBI'S MASK TASTED LIKE LOLLIPOPS, SO I TRIED IT AND I DIDN'T TASTE ANYTHING LIKE LOLLIPOPS! SO SHE STARTED LAUGHING AND I THREW SPOONS AND PLASTIC CUPS AT HER! THEN WHEN I RAN OUT OF THAT, I THREW SOAP AND SPONGES!"

"AND SOAP HURTS!" Lanie adds.

Pein facepalms and glares at us, "Lanie. In the corner. Jodie. In the other corner. NOW."

We rush to our time out corners and pout.

Hidan snickers at us, "Dumbasses."

"Cock sucker!" Lanie snaps.

"Boob humper!" I add.

We burst into another fit of giggles, totally killing the serious mood.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I flop on the couch, next to Itachi.

"How. Does Tobi. Run. So fast?" I gasp for air.

"Hn."

"Itaaaaachi."

"Hn."

"Can you get me some waaater?"

"Hn."

"Pleeeaaaase."

"Hn."

"He's not gonna say yes." Kisame warns.

"C'mon Itachi, pleaaassse."

"Hn."

"Can't you say anything other than Hn?"

"Yes."

"Really?"

"Hn."

"Damnit!"

I'd long since caught my breath.

"Mmkay, time to go Tobi-hunting again!" I shoot to my feet and jog around the base.


	2. Pranks

**Lanie P.O.V**

Kristy slumps down next to me.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"Tobi dosen't like me."

"What? That's crazy! Tobi likes everyone!"

"But he dosen't talk to me, he shudders or twitches whenever I talk to him, he totally ignores me, other than when he's arguing with Jodie."

"If you could call that arguing."

"Gotcha!" Jodie laughs, leaping at Tobi.

Tobi side-steps her and watches her sail into the coffee table.

"Owww... Why? Why would you dodge that one?" She whines. "Fucking wood, you fucking hurt sooo much! Fuck you wood!"

"Tobi, why don't you like Kristy-chan?" I chime.

"..." Tobi stares at her. "Normal people scare Tobi!"

Kristy's jaw drops open in shock.

"Welp, there's your answer." I chuckle.

"What! So I'm not normal now!" Jodie exclaims.

"You were never normal, un." Deidara walks in and switches on the TV.

Jodie soon recovers and starts chasing Tobi again.

**_CRASH!_**

"STOP SIDE-STEPPING ME!"

* * *

We sit in our shared room(they made Hidan and Kakuzu share) and think about what to do next.

"We should play pranks on the Akatsuki!" Jodie yell-whispers.

"I'm normal? He dosen't like me cause I'm the only normal one here?" Kristy sulks.

"Stop sulking." I scold. "If it makes you feel any better, you can prank him."

"Fine..."

So we huddle up and talk about who would get who and what they would do.

When we're done, we yell-whisper, "Break!" and go grab our supplies.

"Ok, whoes first?" I say, putting stuff in my ninja pouches.

"Ooo! Me! Me! Pick me!" Jodie waves her hand in the air.

"Ok, Jodie. You can go first."

"Yes!" She grabs her stuff and runs out the room.

**Jodie P.O.V**

I creep into Hidan and Kakuzu's room and make sure they're asleep.

I drag Hidan across the room carefully and push him into Kakuzu's bed.

I pull out some pink handcuffs and cuff their hands together!

Then I get an extra strong sharpie and write... Words on Hidan's stomach area.

I pull off Kakuzu's mask so his hair was out and his face wasn't all covered up.

I hide it at the bottom of Hidan's messy closet.

I creep off, snickering, into Kisame and Itachi's room.

I draw all over Kisame's face with the sharpie.

I gave him a monocole, a beard, and a pig nose!

I creep over to Itachi and carefully spray the hairspray into his hair.

Then I open up the sharpie and let it drip onto his face.

It makes him look like a kitty!

I rush back to the room where Lanie and Kristy were snickering like crazy.

"What's so funny?" I question.

"Nothing." They chime.

"I'm next!" Lanie dashes out the room.

"What was so funny?" I turn to Kristy.

"Nothing."

"LIES!"

She laughs even harder.

"Tell meee!"

Still nothing.

**Lanie P.O.V**

I creep into Sasori's and Deidara's room and hold up siccors menacingly.

I walk over to Deidara, "Snippy snippy."

I cut a big heart into his cloak, then shred up the sleeves some, then pull out the hair-spray.

The slight hiss of the hair spray makes me anxious to finish up... BUT HE HAS SO MUCH HAIR.

I catch a hiccup from across the room.

"Fuck." Sasori mumbles, half awake.

I stop spraying and hide under Deidara's bed.

I peek out and wait for Sasori to fall back asleep.

Once that's done, I go over to one of his puppets and replace the wooden limbs with old human limbs.

Oh yuck, I almost barfed from the smell.

I run out the room to Zetsu's special meat stash.

This time I really did barf.

I switch Zetsu's meat with tofu-meat.

I sneak off, back to the room where Jodie was chasing Kristy.

"Ahhaha! My tuurn!" Kristy skips out the room.

**Kristy's P.O.V**

I skip to Pein's room with a love note "from Konan" and place it on his desk.

Konan was a bit harder.

I write a quick note "From Pein" and spray it with his cologne then place it on her desk.

I go to Tobi's room and OMG.

HE. DOSEN'T. HAVE. ON. HIS. MASK.

I couldn't help but to stare...

I smack my forehead, then start painting Tobi's mask pink.

He startles and starts to wake up.

I high tail it out of there, tripping over his cloak, crashing into the door.

"Kristy-chan?"

"You didn't see anything!" I untangle myself from the cloak and keep running.

I burst into the room and lock the door.

"Woah. What happened to you?" Jodie laughs.

"T-Tobi." I gasp for air. "He woke up..."

"Your horrible with stealth."

"Oh shut up. I'm stealthy and you know it."

Jodie gets a sly smirk.

"Oh great, you got her started." Lanie sighs.

"I'm sexy and I know it!" She starts dancing around the room. "Wiggle-wiggle-wiggle-wiggle-wiggle! YEAH!"

She finishes up and we get some sleep.

* * *

We wake up to some girly screams.

Jodie jolts out of bed and peeks out the door.

She immediatly bursts out laughing.

I go to check it out and start laughing too.

What a sight to see Hidan and Kakuzu hand-cuffed together with pink handcuffs.

We leave the safety of the room as another scream is heard.

"MY HAIR, UN!"

Jodie falls onto the ground and rolls around, laughing and holding her stomach.

What did she do?

Deidara storms out and stares at Jodie who was rolling around.

He grabs her wrist and stares at her hands.

"YOU, UN!" Deidara screeches.

I fall back, laughing at his pink and green hair.

"It wasn't me!" Jodie laughs.

"There's pink and green all over your hands, un!"

"...Oh man." Jodie shoots to her feet.

"You little brats!" Sasori roars. "Whoes been messing with my puppets!"

Jodie screams and runs away.

More and more stuff gets pinned on us girls and we run from the angry mob.

We duck into the first room we see, the others running past.

We were in Tobi's room.

Shit.

Jodie gets ready to try and glomp Tobi.

"Kristy-chan! Can Tobi talk to you in private for a minute?" Tobi cocks his head to the side.

"JODIE! SAVE ME!" I wrap my arms around her neck and force her to hold me.

"Ack! So heavy!" Jodie stumbles backwards. "Just talk to him!"

"NOO! I'M SCARED!"

"Why?"

"READ BETWEEN THE LINES BITCH!"

"But it's importaaant!" Tobi whines.

"C'mon Jodie! Do something!" I whisper.

She pauses to think long and hard on what to do.

"You can have her..." Jodie chuckles darkly.

"Yay!" Tobi cheers.

"Jodie!" I smack her upside the head.

"Ow! You didn't let me finish!" Jodie whines. "You can have her if you be my pet for... 5 days!"

Now it's Tobi's turn to think.

"You can't just TRADE me!" I screech.

"Jodie, you deserve to get slapped for that one." Lanie laughs.

"Screw this!" I let go of Jodie and run out the room.

"It was worth a try!" Jodie shrugs and follows after me.

"Aww, I wanna hold someone hostage!" Lanie whines, chasing after us. "Wait for me!"

I bet Tobi's stunned... But I'm curious... I'll have to ask Jodie later.

We end up surronded in the kitchen.

Jodie looks for a weapon, and settles on the coffee set.

She throws mugs, then coffee packets, then sugar pockets, and then she holds up the coffee maker threateningly.

"Take another step and we'll bust it!" Lanie threatens.

Jodie holds the coffee maker high above her head, "Don't make me do it man!"

"Jodie! Jodie! Just calm down, un!" Deidara holds his hands up defensively.

"Don't come closer! I don't wanna have to, but I will!"

"Jodie! Just put the coffee machine down!" Hidan backs up some. "You don't have to do this!"

Jodie grips the machine like a crazy person, "Don't touch me man!"

"We won't we won't!" Kisame backs up a little bit.

Jodie stares at them.

"Ok, now just set the coffee maker down." Pein whispers.

"W-Wwhy?" Jodie whispers back. "Wh-What if you attack me? What if you attack me when I put it down? What would I do then?"

"We won't attack you." Pein whispers back.

"You sure?"

"Yes."

"O-Okay." Jodie slowly puts the coffee maker on the counter.

"Are you calm, Jodie?"

"Yes."

"Good." Pein glares. "NOW WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO!"

Jodie shreiks and runs away, taking cover under the table.

"What the hell?" Pein grumbles.

"HEELP! HEELP! HEELP!" Jodie shreiks so loud I have to cover my ears. "HEEEEELLLLLP!"

"Shut up!"

"HEEEEELLLP!"

Pein covers her mouth and drags her away.

"..." Lanie stares down the hell, then looks back at us. "What do you think he did to her?"

"Why'd you have to say it like that?" Hidan sighs.

I start snickering as pervy thoughts fill my mind.

Things go scarily quiet.

"..." Deidara looks down the hall. "So, who wants to check it out, un?"

"I will!" Hidan opens the door to Pein's bedroom and starts laughing. "Oh you have got to see this!"

We crowd around the door and stare at the scene.

Jodie had resorted to rabid fangirl mode to save herself.

"PEIN-SAMA!" She says in the whiny anime voice. "DON'T AVOID ME! YOU KNOW YOU LOVE ME!"

Pein catches her as she launches off the wall and throws her at the wall over the bed.

"Oh shit." I stare in shock. "She's gone into scary fangirl mode."

"WHAT!" Pein whips his head around to stare at me. "Are you KIDDING me?"

Jodie crawls up the wall like a spider, then twists her head around so it was backwards.

Pein just stares at her.

"We're just gonna... Leave now, un." Deidara shuts the door.

"How many fangirl modes are there?" Tobi asks.

"Wild fangirl, bored fangirl, scary fangirl, desprate fangirl, rabid fangirl, flirty fangirl, and obssesed fangirl." Lanie explains. "Jodie goes through all of them at some point."

"Ok, I'm officialy scared of Jodie, un." Deidara shudders.

There's a loud thump and Jodie's voice could barely be heard.

"Jodie, let me go." Pein says a bit to calmly.

"Nu-uh, you'll stab me."

"No I won't."

"You lie! That's what you said last time!"

"Well now I'm serious."

"I'm not letting go."

"I don't know how old you are, but aren't you to old for this?"

"I'm 4 and a half."

Now everyones curious, they file into the room.

"Your FOUR, un?" Deidara stares in shock.

Jodie P.O.V

Oh shit, why did I say I was four?

"Well, yeah. I was born on a leap year." I shrug. "I'm spose to be 18, but I was born on a leap year soo..."

"Holy crap, un!"

* * *

**So guys, what did you think? lol I don't know WHAT I was thinking when I wrote this chapter! NOw press that review button down there! Ok? Please? Do it for Jodie! Do it for Lanie! Do it for Kristy! Do it for... um... me? **

**WE PUT KETCHUP ON EVERYTHING! KETCHUP ON EVERYTHING! KETCHUP KETHUP KETCHUP KETCHUP HETCHUP ON EVERYTHING!**

**And yes, Jodie is techniqually four.**


	3. Team Taka

**Remember: Don't fav and run! Remember to review!**

* * *

After everyone got over the fact that I was techiniqually 4, we had a normal person breakfast.

I finish my Froot Loops and bacon and turn to Tobi.

"Hey Tooobiiiii~..." I chuckle darkly.

Tobi flinches and is out his chair in a second.

"GET BACK HERE YOU SWIRLY BITCH!" I scream, chasing after him.

"Will she ever give up on that?" Kakuzu sighs.

"Nope." Lanie shrugs.

I. Was. So. Close.

At the next turn, I launch myself off the wall and glomp Tobi.

"Yes! I did-"

_**POOF!**_

I stare at the log in my arms.

"DAMN FUCKING NINJA!"

Tobi looks back at me from down the hall.

I ditch the log and start chasing after him, yelling profanity.

When we get outside Tobi stops suddenly, so I crash right into him.

I fall backwards and stare at the sky, dazed, "Sometimes, I think your really trying to hurt me... Which you probably are."

I sit up and rub my head, "Any reason you stopped?"

He didn't even have to answer.

There out over the horizon, was Orochimaru riding Manda.

That sentence would sound pretty weird to anyone who didn't watch Naruto.

"Jodie-chan I think you should- JODIE!"

But I was already dashing towards Orochimaru and Manda(and Kabuto).

"This is gonna be so cool!"

Tobi scoops me up and starts bringing me back to the base.

"No! Tobi! Put me down right now!"

"No!"

"To-bi! I wanna fight! Put me dooown!"

Tobi drops me off in the kitchen as the Akatsuki dash outside to fight.

"Stay. Put." Tobi growls, then dashes off.

I pout and hug my knees as fight noises fill the air, "THIS ISN'T FAIR!"

Kristy sighs and nods in agreement.

"Well, I'm not gonna sit here and watch this happen! I didn't become a slight Oro-chan fangirl for nothing!" I put my hands on my hips.

Yes, SLIGHT Orochimaru fangirl! His tounge is just so... So... So awesome! And he can regurgitate a sword! I wanna do that!

"Hey! I'm a slight Kabuto fangirl! He wears purple! And he's got that Uchiha ego kinda!" Lanie laughs.

Kristy smirks, "If Sasuke's there, then I have a place in this!"

"Let's go!" I lead the way, running at normal human speed.

Things were actually pretty bad in 5 minutes.

Kristy spots Sasuke and immediatly gets in her fangirl mood.

"SASUKE-KUUUN!" She screams so everyone would hear, glomping Sasuke to the ground.

I snicker as Sasuke tries to get her off.

Lanie veers off to Kabuto, "KABUTO-KUN! COME HERE! YOU KNOW YOU LOOOOOOOVE ME!"

Kabuto freezes, then slashes at her with his scalpel.

She gets a deep cut on her cheek, but glomps him anyways.

"OH MY GOD KABUTO-KUN! YOUR REALLY HERE! AND OH MY GOD! TEAM TAKA~!"

Orochimaru was off my mind and I scanned the area for... There he is!

"JUUUUGOOOOOOO-KUUUUUUUUUN!" I scream, glomping him so hard we actually skidded a little.

He shreiks and tries pushing me off.

I growl at him, "NO! I AM GONNA HUG YOU AND YOU ARE GONNA LIKE IT!"

He quiets down to stare at me.

I hug him some more, earning more and more stairs by the second.

I let go of Jugo and switch with Lanie.

I glomp Suigetsu even harder into the ground.

"YAY! SUIGETSU-CHAN IT'S REALLY YOU! YOUR SO DAMN FUCKING AWESOME!" I pause and whisper. "You should really kick Karin's ass. She's very annoying."

He gives me a toothy grin.

I spot Orochimaru and gather up the last of my fangirl strength to run at him and glomp him INTO A TREE.

He stares at me with total annoyance.

"I am SO SORRY OROCHIMARU-SAMA! ARE YOU OK?"

He gives me a sly smirk, "Why yes. I'm fine."

"ARE YOU SURE! WE HIT THE TREE PRETTY HARD!"

"Yes. Now let go of me."

"NO! I'M HUGGING YOU!"

"..."

"Ok, I'm done." I sit back.

I turn my head around so it was backwards, "K...KAAAAABUUUUTTOOOOOOO-KUUUUUUUUUUN!"

"Oh man, not again," Kabuto smacks his forehead as I glomp him to the ground.

I guess our fangirlness was to much, because they were retreating as we chased them through the forest yelling their names.

"JUGO-KUN! SUIGETSU-KUN! COME BAAAACK!" I fall on my knees and scream at the sky.

"SASUKE-KUN! NO! DON'T LEAVE! I'M YOUR GREATEST FANGIRL!" Kristy clings to his leg.

"Hn! Get off!" Sasuke growls.

"KABUTO! KABUTO-KUN! NO! GET BACK HERE MY PURPLE WEARING MEDICAL NIN!" Lanie clings to his waist.

I spot Jugo out of the corner of my eye, "JUGO-NO-DANNA!" I wrap my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist. "YOU ARE SO AWESOME! NEVER LEAVE ME! JUGO-NO-DANNA, WILL YOU VISIT ME? IF WE HAD A BABY WHAT WOULD YOU NAME IT? TELL ME! TELL ME NOW!"

"Um.. Uh... Megatron?"

I pause and get really big eyes, "I. Love. You."

"Oh shit, I take it back!"

"NO TAKE BACKS!" I cheer. "THIS IS GONNA WORK OUT PERFECTLY!"

Then we ditch all talking and go into rabid fangirl mode.

We WERE in wild fangirl mode.

I could hear the Akatsuki snickering at the scene.

And to top it off, I was continously switching between Jugo and Suigetsu.

I just couldn't help but to laugh at the random words coming out the boys mouth.

"Ack! Get off!"

"NO! DON'T TOUCH THERE!"

"YOUR MINE!"

"NO! HE'S MINE!"

"MINE!

"This isn't a game of tug of war-ah!"

"LET GO!"

"Call them off!" I hear Orochimaru plead with the Akatsuki.

"Naah, your members look like they're having fun." Pein chuckles darkly.

"KISS ME SUIGETSU-KUN!" I smirk.

I hear similar things just with different names coming from Kristy and Lanie.

"What!" Suigetsu starts failing at pushing me away. "CALL THEM OFF! NOW!"

I'm guessing they used up all their weapons?

And we're just tiring them out!

There's a few more sadistic laughs.

I hear a happy cry of victory from Kristy, getting her kiss from Sasuke.

I hear another victory cry from Lanie.

Oh shit!

I crash my lips against Suigetsu's and do I quick kiss.

"I AM THE ENVY OF FANGIRLS EVERYWHERE!" I cheer, pumping my fist in the air. "OROCHIMARU-KUN! LET'S PLAY JUMP ROPE!"

Orochimaru gets even paler than he already was, "Retreat!"

"Down girls." Pein orders, trying to keep a straight face.

We stop following Orochimaru and his gang and stand a safe distance from the Akatsuki.

"What the hell was that?" Pein glares.

"Fangirl instincts?" Kristy squeaks.

"It was totally worth it! I regret nothing!" I cheer.

"You regret not being able to play jump rope with Orochimaru's tounge." Lanie points out.

"Oh shut up!" I snap. "I was having a moment!"

"And I just ruined it!" She laughs histerically.

"I said to stay inside!" Pein smacks all of our heads. "You could've gotten yourselves killed."

"A chance a fangirl must take!" Lanie does her Gai pose.

"It was a once in a lifetime opporunitunity! It was Team Taka!" I huff. "But they weren't as fun to hug..."

"I know! They don't glare, give us death threats, or try to stab us!" Lanie rolls her eyes. "And they're not soft and warm and they don't have AWESOME hair!"

"Sasuke's hair is techniqually awesome." Kristy points out. "It defies gravity!"

"Yeah, I gotta agree to that." I shrug.

"You guys could make pretty good ninja's." Konan mutters.

"Kooonaaan, don't get them staaarted." Pein warns.

"I'm serious! Jodie is great with pursuit and threats, she could be an interogation artist! ...Kristy is great with stealth, she could be a spy! ...And Lanie is great with sneak attacks and has some odd strength!" Konan points out. "They just scared of Orochimaru and his team!"

"Cause we're awesome!" Kristy does her awesome pose.

We walk back, talking idle chatter, until I remember something.

I launch off a tree, into Tobi, "TOBI-SEMPAIIII! YOU ARE THE BEASTIEST OF THEM ALL! AND HAHA! I GLOMPED YOU!"

Tobi laughs, "I guess you did!"

"Oooooooo!" Lanie snickers.

"Shut up!" I start throwing pinecones and tufts of grass at her.

Some grass hits her, "Ouch. That hurt so much."

A pinecone hits her, "OWWW! FUCKING GOD THAT HURTED!"

* * *

**Ahh, poor Team Taka.**

**And about that jump rope comment: Jodie+Long tounge=Some painful jump roping.**

**Remeber to review! Don't fav and run!**


	4. New rooms

**Remember: Don't fav and run! Remember to review!**

* * *

Tobi and me were oddly at peace...

This needs to end!

But, Zetsu had started force feeding us sleeping pills lately soo...

Today, I had Lanie switch the pills with anything she could find.

When Zetsu forced about 3 pills into us, I was...

? P.O.V

"I AM THE QUEEN OF HEARTS! FEAR ME!" Jodie screams at the top of her lungs.

I watch in shock as Tobi and Jodie shred through the base, destroying everything in sight.

What a pair.

"No JODIE! PUT IT DOWN!"

She does this maniac laugh and holds the coffee maker high in the air.

"NOOOOO!"

She smashes it into the ground and goes skipping off singing about being a teapot.

Tobi, meanwhile, was literally crashing through walls screaming about his Lucky Charms.

"Oh shit! He's got the clay, un!"

"Ooo? Clay? Where!" Jodie comes skipping into view.

I better get out of here.

I dash off and watch from a safe distance as the cave explodes.

"TOBI! JODIE!" The leader's voice booms.

There's a few screams.

"YEAH! YOU LITTLE BRATS BETTER RUN! WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU, I'M GONA WRING YOUUR FUCKING NECKS OUT, RIP OUT YOUR INTESTINTS AND MAKE YOU EAT THEM! THEN I WILL RIP OUT YOUR EYES AND SHOVE THEM UP YOUR NOSE!"

"JODIE DOSEN'T WANT HER EYES UP HER NOES!" She cries.

"I DON'T GIVE A FUCK!"

"PEIN! PLEASE CALM DOWN!" Konan calls out.

"THEM BITCHES BETTER RUN!" Hidan shouts. "I'LL SACRIFICE THEM TO JASHIN-SAMA!"

"CHUCK NORRIS IS THE ONLY GOD!" Tobi screams.

There's another smaller explosion.

"OH MY CHUCK NORRIS! TOBI IS BLASTING OFF AGAAAAIIIN!" Jodie starts stealing from Pokemon.

"..." Lanie walks up to her. "PIKA! PIKA!"

"AHHH! PIKACHU'S TRYING TO EAT ME!"

More screams and yelling.

Are these seriously S-ranked criminals?

Jodie's P.O.V

We settle in to the extra base, but Pein was still extremely pissed.

"How many times do I gotta say I'm sorry?" I whine. "It's not my fault Zetsu gave us the wrong pills!"

Not my best choice of words.

"Wait! Wait! Wait!" I hold my hands up defensively. "Let's just settle this like NORMAL people... Rock paper siccors."

Pein gives me a funny look, but settles it my way.

"Rock, paper, siccors, SHOOT!"

...

"DAMNIT!" I throw my hands up angrily. "This fucktarded game!"

"But you wanted to play it." Pein points out.

"SO!"

Pein rolls his eyes and starts assiging rooms, "Since this base is smaller, it will be three people per room, got it?"

"fiiiine." Lanie groans.

"Deidara, Sasori, and Lanie."

"Oh come on!" She exclaims.

"Kisame, Itachi, and Zetsu."

"Hn." Itachi comments.

"No fucking fair!" Lanie snaps.

"Tobi, Jodie, and Kristy."

"Whaaat?" Kristy whines.

"WOOHOO!" I cheer.

Tobi twitches, I'm unsure what about.

"Hidan and Kakuzu."

"Hey! Hey! Why do they get only 2?" I protest.

He dosen't answer.

"And of course, me and Konan." Pein finishes. "Your dismissed."

I run off and look through rooms, picking the one with a walk in closet.

"Tooobbiiii! Kristyyy! In here!" I laugh.

They jog to the room and look around it.

"Hey cool! A walk in closet!" Kristy points.

"That's my part of the room!" I point out.

"What! Why can't you sleep out here with Tobi?" She hisses so only I could hear.

"You two need to bond." I snap. "Now help me move the bed in here!"

She grudgingly helps me force the bed into the closet.

I quickly hang up my few articles of clothing and stare at the space, "Welp... My stuffs all set up!"

"Are you... Sleeping in a closet?" Tobi stares.

"Yeah, why?"

"..."

"What?"

* * *

**It's good right? It MIGHT be a TobixOC... but maybe not... I'll probably just make this a fangirl type thing.**

**Remeber to review! Don't fav and run!**


	5. Lanie's Bored

Lanie's P.O.V

I lay down in my bed while Sasori and Deidara made boundaries with each other.

"THIS whooole area is MINE, un." Deidara puts tape on the floor from the middle of my headboard(or is it the foot board?).

"Fine." Sasori growls.

"Fine, un!"

"FINE." Both of them scream.

I sigh, "I have no boundaries, I go where I want."

Pein. Fucking. Hates. Me.

I get my Ipod and put the little ear buds in my ear.

I sing along to the parts I knew, "IT'S RAININ' MEEEN!"

The two males in my room stare.

I switch songs to see how much I could disturb/bother them.

"HOW EVERYONE HATES YOU! HA. HA. THIS! IS! MY! RE-! -VENGE! I'M A LITTLE TEAAASE! WATCH WHAT I DOOOO!"

More stares, maybe even a slight eye twitch.

"I GOT NO STRINGS TO HOLD ME DOWN! TO MAKE ME SAD! TO MAKE ME FROWN. I HAD STRINGS, BUT NOW I DON'T! THERE AIN'T NO STRINGS ON ME! HA!"

Pinochio's-I mean Sasori's eye twitches.

"BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! I WANT YOU IN MY ROOM! LET'S SPEND THE NIGHT TOGETHER FROM NOW UNTIL FOREVER!"

Deidara gets a disturbed look and mutters something.

"DONTCHA WISH YOUR GIRLFRIEND WAS HOT LIKE ME! DON'T YOU WISH YOUR GIRLFRIEND WAS A FREAK LIKE ME?"

Sasori comes up and takes the ear buds out.

"Hey!" I make a grab for them.

He holds them out my reach, "You can have them back when you learn how to use them for good."

"Yo listen up! Here's the story! About Kisame-hey-in a blue world!" I hear singing from the hallway.

"Oh she isn't." I laugh, cracking the door so I could see. "She isn't serious, is she?"

"-everything he sees is just blue like him, inside and outside! Blue his house-" Jodie sings to Kisame.

"-with a blue little window! And a blue Corvet-" Kristy joins in.

"-and everything is blue for him. And himself! And everybody around-"

"-cause he ain't got. Nobody. To listen to..."

"He's blue da bu di da bu die!" I chime. "Da bu di da bu die dabu di da bu die!"

Kisame was turning... Purple?

"He has a blue house with a blue window!" Jodie laughs, barely able to sing.

"Blue is the color-Hahahah! That he always wears!" Kristy falls on the ground laughing.

"He has a girlfriend-HHAHAHAHAAHA-and sh-she is so blue!" Jodie falls on the ground, clutching her stomach. "Oy ve! I'm dying man! Hahahah!"

Kisame glares down at her and pulls out Samehada.

"Kill her and face mine and Tobi's wrath." I warn. "Kristy's too."

He takes this into consideration, then slams the door shut.

How rude.

I skip off to the kitchen to think, "I wonder... I wonder if we somehow screwed up the plotline by coming here? But naah, this isn't just some random fanfic, right? RIGHT? ...But then again..."

I glance back at Jodie who was praying to this so-called Anime-God.

I make myself some bacon and watch Spongebob like a bum.

I was feeling really tired...

"LET'S PLAY A GAME!" I announce.

"Like?" Kisame stares.

"Truth or Dare." I go get a cup from the kitchen and fill it halfway with water.

I go around collecting the grossest things around the house.

"Hidan, add something gross to the punishment cup." I order.

He simply spits in it.

Kakuzu put in some kinda pills.

Deidara put in a piece of his clay.

Sasori put in a piece of chalk.

Itachi put in some mud.

Kisame put in a rotten fish falling off the bone.

Tobi put in some play-doh(I couldn't help but to stare when it started sizzling).

Pein put in some non-toxic(this part took some negotiating) nail polish remover.

Konan put in some ground up lip stick.

Zetsu put in some special leaves that knocked you out for 30 seconds.

Kristy dipped Jodie's sock in from when she tried to train.

Jodie put in some fresh lemon juice.

And I put in some pickle juice.

Boy did this smell nasty.

I pour the over-flowing mixture into a pitcher, add some ketchup, lemon juice, a dash of salt, and another half-decomposed fish.

"May the game begin." I chuckle darkly.


	6. Truth or Dare

We sit in one big circle and we(us Earth girls) explain the game.

"Ok, so you basically take turns and you say Truth or Dare." I explain. "If you choose truth, you must answer a question of the askers choice."

"If you choose dare, you've gotta do whatever the asker says... Suggestions taken." Kristy chimes helpfully.

"What's that big cup of... Stuff for?" Konan points.

"Oh! That's the punishment cup! You use it when someone cannot complete a dare, or will not tell a truth." Jodie laughs. "Now let's start! Who goes first?"

No one volunteers.

"Fine." I grumble. "Deidara, truth or dare?"

"Truth, un."

**"COFF!COFF!**!chicken**COFF**!" Jodie adds OH SO HELPFULLY.

Deidara simply glares at her.

"Ok... Have you ever crossdressed? Or had thoughts of it?" I giggle.

"No." He turns his glare on me.

"You sure?"

"Yes."

"huh... I'm surprised." I tease. "Ok, your turn!"

He looks around the circle, "Jodie, un. Truth or Dare."

"Truth." Jodie stares intently at the dark clouds outside.

And she has the nerve to... Nevermind.

"..." Deidara pauses to think of something. "Whoes your favorite, using your fangirl mind, un?"

"Caaaan I pick two?"

"Sure, un."

Jodie closes her eyes, and when she opens them she had that wild look, "SUIGETSU-KUN AND JUGO-KUN! EEEEEEEEEEE!"

She quickly calms down and goes back to staring out the window, "Itachi! Truth or Dare!"

"Dare."

"I dare you to put this blindfold on until I say you can take it off." She tosses him a rainbow blindfold.

"What the hell was that?" Hidan snaps. "That's the best you could come up with? The fuck?"

Itachi sighs, "Hidan, truth or dare."

"Dare me, bitch."

"I dare you to-"

"Hey! Hey Itachi!" Kristy interupts, crawling over to him.

"Hn?"

She whispers something.

Itachi smirks at her and nods.

"What the hell are you two whispering about?" Hidan grouches.

"I dare you to go die in a hole." Itachi grunts.

Hidan puts two and two together aand...

"WHAT THE FUCK? THAT'S NOT EVEN POSSIBLE!" He explodes.

"Then you must drink from ze punishement cup of doom!" Jodie pours some into a plastic red cup.

"I'm not drinking that." Hidan crosses his arms.

"That's fucking cheating!"

"I don't care."

"DRINK IT NOW BEFORE I SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT!"

Hidan glares at her as a challenge.

She's on him in 3 seconds tops and starts forcing the cup over his mouth.

He shoves her off and they glare at each other...

...until Hidan gets this sickened look on his face.

"What is IN that cup!" He starts wiping his tounge clean.

"A lot of stuff." I chuckle. "Some pretty nasty stuff too! ...so... Feeling weird? Gotta make sure it's not poisinus..."

"Why would it be poisonus."

"Because Pein put nail polish remover in it, and the mixture started sizzling when Tobi put the play-doh in."

"To-bi! That was my play-doh!" Jodie whines.

...No comment.

Hidan falls backwards into his own deep sleep..

"Konan, truth or dare?" I laugh.

"Dare."

"I dare you to do a strip dance!" I say in favor of Hidan.

Let me tell you, when Konan's mad, you'd better run.

"Ok! Ok! I take it back!" I back up some. "I dare you to-"

"Prank call Orochimaru-kun and ask him on a date!" Kristy laughs.

"Do I have to go on the date?" Konan questions.

"Nope!"

Konan picks up the phone, dials 411, gets Orochimaru's number, and waits.

This is gonna be good.

"Hello?" She says in a childish voice. "Hi! Whoes thiis!"

Jodie and me start poking Hidan with a stick.

I think Itachi was getting annoyed by the blindfold.

"Really? You sound really cool!" Konan giggles. "We should go on a date! We could have ice cream and pizza! Meet me at the Ichiraku Ramen in 3 hours!"

More talking on Orochimaru's side.

"Oh! My name's... Konata!"

Konan hangs up snickering, "Damn, is he desprate as ever."

We burst out laughing.

**Kristy's P.O.V**

Yay! I finally get a long point of view thingy!

Things go around, but it wasn't going to me!

I have so many great dares!

Bastards.

Hours later...

Jodie was high off of caffine pills from Zetsu's dare.

I've gone, like, twice.

"Jodie, when can I take this stupid blindfold off." Itachi growls.

"Oh yeah! Is it my turn?" Jodie laughs this insane asylum laugh that could out match Hidan's any day.

"That might've been 5 to many pills, Zetsu." I comment.

"Ok Itachi! I dare you to stand up and run to theeee... LEFT as fast as you can."

"Psh, so easy." Itachi scoffs, beginning the dare.

The Akatsuki watch in shocked silence as Itachi runs... Runs... Trips over the coffee table... Hits a wall.

Then we all burst out laughing.

"Hahaha! So totally worth it!" Jodie falls backwards.

Itachi was after her, so it skipped over to my turn.

"Pein! Truth or dare!" I giggle.

"Truth."

"What's your relationship with Konan?"

Jodie suddenly pops up behind him, "Answer the question! Bwahahahaha!"

Pein just ignores her, "We're best friends."

"awwwww." I pout.

"Me! Me! Do me next Pein! Please? Me! Me memememememeem!" Jodie begs.

She suddenly plops down next to him and the extra spark leaves.

"...So many caffine pills... Where do you get them?" She says.

"Oh cool, it finally wore off." Sasori mutters.

"Jodie, truth or dare." Pein sighs.

"Dare! I choose dare cause all you damn pansy's keep picking Truth!"

"I dare you to go kiss Tobi."

"OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH!" Everyone laughs.

It was that sound whenever someone gets Owned... This was an appropriate time.

Jodie turns really red, "N-No way."

"Then drink from the cup of doom!" Pein chuckles.

"Has he taken caffine pills too?" I whisper to Konan.

She nods, "To keep from leaving the game."

"I'd rather wear the cone of shame!" Jodie snaps back.

"There is no cone of shame!" Pein snaps back. "So go drink, or kiss Tobi!"

Jodie starts muttering a million cuss words under her breath, then snatches some caffine pills from off the counter.

"Anything I do now, CANNOT and WILL NOT be used against me!" She pops, like, 15 pills in her mouth.

Her face turns red and she gets this goofy smile on her face.

"HI EVERYBODY!" She waves.

"Think we could use this to our advantage, un?" Deidara chuckles.

"Possibly." Lanie glances back at Jodie who was saying something about it being hot.

"Is the game over?" Kakuzu looks up, still wearing the dress and counting his money.

Yes, I said dress.

"Yep! Now it's time to mess with caffenated Jodie!" I hop to my feet. "...Where'd she go?"

"Hey guys! Aren't you hot? I am! We should get an AC!" Jodie bounces into the room wearing only a skirt with the Akatsuki symbol and a black-lace bra. "We could have a photo shoot! But do we have a camera? Can't have a photoshoot without a camera! Then it'd be a bunch of nicely dressed people posing for nothing!'

She trips over her own two feet.

"Ow!" She rolls over and sits like a dog next to Zetsu. "Woof woof! Hahahah!"

Zetsu pats her head, "Good dog."

She crawls off, licking things she probably shouldn't be.(chairs, table legs, mold, etc.)


	7. FemKatsuki?

**Jodie's P.O.V**

When I wake up in the morning... I was surprised.

"..." I poke the girl in Tobi's bed.

She had long black hair and a ribbon somehow tied in.

"Hey! Hey! Kristy!" I call her over. "Whoes this?"

"I dunno." She pokes the girl.

"Wakey! Wakey!" I shake the girl.

The girls eyes flutter open and she smiles, "Morning Jodie-chan!"

Kristy looks dejected.

"Ahem." I cough and gesture to her.

"You to Kristy!"

"Who are you and what have you done with our room mate!"

Tobi pauses and catches himself in the mirror, "What the FUCK did you do to me?" He says in a different voice.

Kristy seemed totally unfazed, but I was SHOCKED.

"What happened to your voice...?" I question.

"What do you mean?" Tobi giggles.

"You-Your voice and whole additude just changed!"

"No it didn't."

"Buuuut I juuust saaaaw?"

"Saw what?"

"..." I face palms. "I'm confused."

"Your so mean to her." Kristy giggles. "Tell her!"

"Tell me what?" I perk up.

"Nothing." Tobi throws a pillow at me.

"..." The pillow hits me in the face. "Tell me!"

"Tell you what?"

"Whatever Kristy's talking about!" I whine. "Toobiiii! Tell me! ...Wait, why're you a girl?"

Shrug.

"I wonder if the others are girls?" I ponder. "But first, tell me! You told Kristy!"

"Not exactly!" Kristy laughs nervously. "It was in the anime!"

"Pft! Ha-Psh! No wonder I don't know, I only got passed Sasori's death!" I throw my hands up. "Now tell me, bitch!"

"Nu-uh, he's gotta tell you." She points at Tobi.

I pout and search my mind for hints.

I come up with nothing.

I sit in Tobi's lap and wrap my arms around his neck, "Whhyyyy wooon't yooouuuu telllll meeee?"

"..."

"Whhhyyyyy Toooobbiiiiiiii?"

"..."

"Tooooobiiiiiii! It's not like it would change my fangirl rate!"

"..."

"TOBI."

Tobi sighs in defeat as screams erupt from the hallway.

"If I tell you, will you stop?"

"Yeah."

"I'm Madara Uchiha."

3...2...1...

"OMG REALLY!"

He(she) nods.

"Ok, I'll question later! Time to investigate!" I dash out the room...

...Right into a BUSTY Pein.

I fall back laughing.

"Oh shut up." He glares. "Did you do this?"

"I wish!" I get up. "I'm just here to investigate!"

"No! Mine are bigger!" Lanie hisses at Deidara.

"No! Mine are, un!" He snaps back.

"I can solve this!" I run up to them. "Mine are bigger!"

"..."

They both burst out laughing.

"What? Hey! Stop laughing bastards!" I whine.

"I find it weird that the more femenine looking members didn't change as much." Kristy jokes, leaving the room.

"CoffDeidaraandItachiCOFF!COFF!" I giggle.

Cue death glares.

"So... Everyone's a girl?" Lanie states the obvious.

"Yes." Pein pinches the bridge of his nose. "What kinda shit is this?"

"It's crazy shit!" I cackle.

"Any ideas on how to fix this?"

Nothing.

"We should exploit this!" Lanie announces. "We could create our own stripper calender!"

"I call Ms. October!" I cheer.

* * *

So, we set up the whole photoshoot(after convincing Kakuzu we could make a lot of money off of it) and chose who would be which month.

"Ok... So there's one for each of us!" Kristy does the math. "Who wants Januray?"

No takers.

"Itachi! Thanks for volunteering!" I tug him into the changing room.

He growls at me as I show him the outfit.

"Come on! It's not that bad!"

After some arguing, fighting, tackling, and cursing, I get him into the mini blue dress, red tights, and white knee-high boots. Each piece had a star on it.

"Now for the hair..." I mumble.

"No. Your NOT touching my hair." Itachi warns.

"Fine." I bring him out for all to see.

And there were laughs.

I pose him on a motorcycle with some sparklers in his hands.

He kept trying to pull the dress down.

"Now stay!" I move out the way so Konan could take the photo's.

Next was Sasori, cause he's a red head.

There was even more arguing and fighting before I got him into the blue skinny jeans, and a red shirt that tied at the bottom so his stomach(and some chest) was revealed.

"I. Hate. You." He growls.

I curl his hair.

I pose him laying down on the floor, surronded by flower petals.

I dump some cold water at him, making him shoot up and attack me once again.

After 5 minutes, I position him again and let Konan get some close up pictures.

"Who March be?" Lanie mutters.

"Zetsu!" Kristy laughs. "For Saint Patricks day, ya know?"

Zetsu hid from us for a good hour before we managed to get him outfitted and his hair done.

He wore a green shirt with only one sleeve, and a super mini skirt(black). I put him in green lipstick for extra measure.

His hair was... Sex-hair.

LOL.

We pose him standing up in a very cute pose.

"Are we really doing this, un?" Deidara mutters.

"April... What's April like?" I mumble.

"Isn't Easter in April?" Lanie remembers. "Who goes with Easter?"

...

"Tobi?" Kristy whispers.

We start speaking in whispers before we finally come up with a conlusion for everyone else.

"Tobi! Come get changed!" I start dragging him into the changing room.

He reaally didn't wanna come in this room.

I get on good tug and send us both tumbling to the ground.

I close and lock the door and grab the outfit in one quick movement.

"I am NOT putting that on." Madara growls.

"Oh yes you are! Your Ms. April!" I snap.

I turn on the music, singing along, ignoring whatever he has to say.

I sit on his back and literally cut his clothes off.

He was screeching at me the whole time... Hm, guess being a girl made him weaker.

...Fucking sexist Anime-Gods...

And again, this felt SO WRONG.

"Then a shadow crossed his mind!" I sing. "What it takes to come alive~!"

I managa to get the corset on, now I just had to tie it.

I pull tightly on the strings and lace the back of the shirt. I'd do the front last.

He(she?) manages to knock me off for a split second.

I tackle him back to the ground(guess I'm doing the front now) I sloppily lace it up and stand back to admire my work.

"Heh... I'm goood." I chuckle to myself.

"Bitch," Madara grumbles.

"Eh? Where'd the other part go?" I search the room for the rest of the outfit.

I find the skirt under the desk, the gloves in the lamp, the shoes in the fish tank, and the leggings on the ceiling fan.

"Now be a good boy and put the rest on!" I snap.

"Nope." He says stubbornly.

"Oh come on! Everyone will and did do it!" I huff.

"No."

"Ugh! So stubborn!" I throw the shoes down. "Put the damn leggings on!"

More fighting to get the leggings and skirt on.

"There, now put the gloves and shoes on, and we can call it a day." I block the door.

"Gloves. No shoes." He growls.

"Fine."

"Now for the hair.." I add.

"I'm out." Madara glares.

"Oh come on! What is with you Uchiha's and your hair?"

After some persuading, I snatch his mask away and do his bangs so you couldn't see his face without straining your neck.

"LET'S GO!"

**Lanie's P.O.V**

haah! This is to fun!

So, Hidan was Ms. May.

Deidara was Ms. June.

Kakuzu was Ms. July.

Kisame was Ms. August.

Pein was Ms. Septmeber.

Jodie was Ms. October.

Kristy was Ms. November.

And I was Ms. DECEMBER!

So we around and do some back alley sales, and call it a day.


	8. SLumber party PMS

******Wassup people? The chunk of this is a tribute to Good boy-chan and yes, you CAN get a copy of that calender! XD I'm working on it right now.**

* * *

**Lanie's P.O.V**

Jodie was trying to convince me to pray to the anime gods with her.

Oh gosh.

"Blashpemy! There are no anime gods, Jashin is the only god!" Hidan preaches her.

"To you. I believe in many gods! Pengvin, Jashin, The God, Pein, Anime gods... Um.. Who else?" Jodie does that neck roll thing.

I drag her to the waterfall and she shows me how to pray to these 'Anime Gods'.

"Well you damned gods, Lanie has something to say to you!" Jodie announces.

I take a deep breath, "This fucking adventure _SUCKS ASS_. I don't want the loves of my life in girl form! Send us on a real adventure! Let's have the 4th great ninja war happen! Let's go fangirl on Konoha! SOMETHING!"

Jodie gives me a thumbs up.

"Now please, fix the Akatsuki and send us on an adventure!"

A very strong wind blows past us.

And I mean strong.

Jodie goes toppling over the side and into the water.

"That looks like fun." I comment, then jump over the side with her.

I splash right next to her and we have a big fat awesome splash fight!

Damn fake gods... There's no anime gods!

A bird attacks my face, dropping a piece of paper.

"Oww..." I whine. "My face."

Jodie laughs and reads the note.

"Oh... It's a cure for there femeninism!" She grumbles. "Let's have some fun, THEN change them back!"

When we walk into the base, the first thing I'm greeted with is:

"WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK! MY **** IS BLEEDING!" Hidan screams.

Jodie collapses on the floor in a fit of laughter.

"Did Hidan just s-say what I think he said?" Kristy covers her mouth. "Oh my god."

She bursts into laughter also.

"You guys laugh now, but your gonna be the ones to tell them about it." I add smugly.

"AHAHAH! YOU WISH! Thats real funny, Lanie!" Jodie throws a couch pillow at me.

There's soon complaints and questions on why the Akatsuki were bleeding "down there".

"ITS VIDEO TIME!" Jodie poses in her super girl hallowen costume. "See Lanie? I told you the video would come in handy."

"How was I spose to know the Akatsuki would end up getting there periods?" I huff. "Even YOU weren't expecting that!"

"Well you are a non-anime god worshiper."

"They're not real thats why!"

"Suuure."

So we show them the video, and we possibly traumatized them cause Jodie didn't get the "school version".

After THAT mess, we end up having to go to the store.

"In hindsight," Kristy sighs. "We prpobably should've went to the store _first._"

"Yeah..." I agree.

We lead the guys to the "feminine" section of the floor and get BIG BOX of pads and a BIG BOX of tampons.

"I thank thee, anime gods for this halariouis moment!" Jodie cackles.

"Shut up, un! It's not fucking funny!" Deidara hits her over the head.

"It actualy is! Hmm... Anime gods I have another wish slash demand! Would you mind-"

"DON'T YOU DARE, JODIE!" I tackle her to the ground.

"FINE! YOU KNOW YOU WERE CURIOUS!"

* * *

So we head back to the base with bags of pillows, sleeping bags, and food.

"Konan!" I gasp. "Your still a girl!"

"Haha, very funny." Konan pats my head.

"Lanie stole my line..." Jodie pouts, flopping on the couch.

"What's all that?" Pein points.

"It's for our slumber party!" Jodie explains. "C'mon, bring the others in here! It's getting dark!"

"Slumber... Party?"

"It's a teenage girl thing."

"We're not girls."

"Look. While your girls you will do teenage girl things with us-Me, Konan, Lanie, and Kristy- and when your boys, we'll do teenage boy stuff."

They whisper for a bit, then finally agree.

"EVERYONE GET YOUR BUTTS IN HERE OR I'LL RIP OUT OUR TOUNGES AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS!"

"Ripping out tounges..." Jodie mumbles, dumping out sleeping bags and pillows. "Thanks for the new threat!"

The Akatsuki gather around, giving us weird looks.

"Ok, so. Apparently, we're having a slumber party." Pein explains. "Do whatever reasonable thing they say to do."

"O...K...?" Sasori stares. "What first?"

"Pizza making contest!" Kristy announces. "Best pizza wins!"

So we each made a small pizza, varying from pepporni, to anchovies, to weird toppings(like flesh or olives).

"I looove pizza..." I sigh. "I just can't get enough of it."

Konan starts playing with the left over dough with Kristy.

They rolled them into balls, and started throwing them at people.

Then we started throwing PIZZA.

Boooy, was Kuzu mad.

"They need girl names." Jodie says out of the blue.

"For, un?" Deidara narrows his eyes.

"Cause you have boy names at the time... Dei-chan."

"Oo! Oo! I wanna name someone!" Kristy laughs. "Hmmm, Kakuzu can beee... Zuzu-chan!"

Jodie does a spit-take and starts laughing.

"Zetsu can be Zetzina!" I announce. "And Itachi can be... Itara!"

"Stop stealing all the names!" Jodie snaps, then pauses to think.

"Sasori can be Sori!" Kristy teases. "Aaand-"

"PEIN SHALL BE PENNY!" Jodie announces.

More laughs.

"Oh! And Hidan can Hidonna!"

"Your stealing from Madonna!" I point out.

"SO!"

"Kisha can be Kisame-"

"Now your stealing from Kesha."

"And last but not least, Tobi shall be named Tobina!"

"Oh yeah, sooo original." Kristy rolls her eyes.

"Got anything better?"

"Nope," She clicks her tounge.

"What now?" Kisame sighs.

"We can play Twister?" Kristy holds up the game.

So we set up the mat, and lemme tell you, it is HARD to play Twister with 10 other people.

Zetsu decieded to spin, cause... He didn't like Twister.

Said it was too complicated.

So, 5 minutes into the game everyone was twisted into a big knot.

"Why am I on the bottom?" Jodie whines, being the smallest of the group.

The doorbell rings, "Delivery!"

"..." Everyone just stares annoyed at what they could.

Zetsu answers the door, letting in a 3 person ambush.

The three ninja just stare at our twisted form.

"Stop staring and spin the spinner!" Itachi hisses.

Sakura does so awkwardly, "Left foot green."

"Of course."

"How did so many people fit on a board?" Naruto questions.

"We don't." I huff.

Sai stares for a few seconds, then stands on Pein's and Kakuzu's back.

The whole thing just dog piles on Jodie.

"OMG OWWWWWWWW!" Jodie kicks and screams. "GET OFF! OWW!"

We laugh, roll of her, and kick the ninja out.

"You guys are fat." Jodie huffs. "You gained weight when you switched genders."

"Oh, it might be these, un," Deidara teases, squeezing his chest.

"Oh! And this too." Hidan pats his butt.

"Oh hush." Kristy whines. "Girls aren't all that fat."

"They're just jealous... Espiecially Hidonna cause he's flat chested." I tease.

"EXCUSE ME!" Hidan throws the Twister board at me.

I dodge and laugh.

"what to play now?" Pein says, getting into things.

"First, drink 3 bottles of sake." Jodie instructs, passing out bottles. "Everyone."

So we drink up, getting a slight buzz.

"Ok! Let's play Strip Go Fish!" She claps her hands.

"Strip Go Fish?" Sasori huffs.

"She can't play Poker." I explain. "She sucks at it."

We sit in a circle and Kristy passes out the cards, and we start.

(10 Minutes later)

So, everyone was either shirt- and -pants-less or totally topless.

What a game.

"Hidonna's showing off her flat-chest," I whisper to no one in particular.

"Shhhut up!" Hidan snaps back.

"Make me!"

"This is getting to girly." Jodie comments as Kristy brings out the nail polish.

"But the Akatsuki already paint their nails." Kristy protests. "So it's neutral!"

At the reminder of this, the three of us burst out laughing.

"Oh man! First a ninja wearing orange, then a half snake dude." Jodie holds her stomach.

"Now the main antagonists are wearing nail polish!" I finish.

I paint nails, Kristy does make up, and Jodie supervises.

We all turn on her, she had no make up or nail polish.

She notices the scary aura and starts backing away.

"AHH! IT BURRNS!" She screams as Deidara pins her down and let's Konan do her make up. "FUCKING EVIL!"

Hidan paints her right-foot nails black, Sasori paints her left-foot nails green, Kakuzu paints her right-hand nails blue, and Pein paints her left-hand nails red.

"HELP! I'M BEING RAPED!" She cries out, running out of curse words. "BY GNEDER CONFUSED GIRLS!"

Deidara thunks her forehead and starts applying lipstick.

Tobi got bored and deiceded to take over the make up.

When we're done, we let her free to stare at herself in the mirror.

"I feel like I got barfed on by a rainbow." She chuckles.

"Feisty, arentcha, un?" Deidara teases.

"Maaaybe."

We start screwing with each others hair while sitting in a conga line, having girl talk.

"I can't believe this world dosen't have Magazines! It's horrible!" Kristy huffs, braiding Deidara's hair.

"You just wanna check out celeberty gossip." Jodie scoffs, straightening Itachi's hair.

"And you just wanna check out the latest yaoi manga."

"Touche."

"I think they have that stuff here." Konan comments. "Over at that big ass book store. Go in the 'For Girls' section."

"Oh cool, thanks Konan!"

"Hey! Zuzu-chan! How did you get so tall?" I question.

"Ate my veggies and laid off the coffee." Kakuzu smirks.

"Looks like I'm staying short forever, then!" Jodie smacks her forehead. "Those are two things I CAN'T do."

We laugh at this.

Gosh... Who knew the Akatsuki could be so nice?

It might be the sake, but still.

We change into our PJ's(consisting of shorts and maybe a button up shirt) and get in the sleeping bags.

"Night, guys." Kristy yawns. "Or girls. Either way."

She gets a chorus of 'good-nights' and we go silent.

For about 10 seconds.

**_'I see you. Can you see me?'_** A male voice whispers.

We just sit in shock at the voice.

Oh. My. God.

**_'Hello! Glad to see that your awake!'_** The guy greets.

"IT'S THE ANIME GOD!" Jodie shrieks.

_**'What? No! Are you some kinda idiot? What's anime anyways?**_'

"Ugh, its one of those mean ghosts."

* * *

**Gasp! Who is it! And again, thanks to goodboy-chan for all the reviews and the idea for this chapter! ..hehe, if only I could've turned them back then... But I gotta PLAN! I'm the (wo)MAN with the PLAN!**


	9. Minato ghost

**Kristy's P.O.V**

"Oh my god." I stare. "Minato. Is in. Our house."

"I thought he died trying to seal Kyubii-kun?" Jodie mutters.

'I'm a ghost.' Minato grumbles. 'I'm haunting you!'

"For?" Pein glances up at the transparent figure.

'For the bastard who killed me, that's who!'

We all look around like clueless idiots.

'Him! The one in the mask!' Minato points, annoyed.

"...Tobi, un?" Deidara raises his eyebrow. "He isn't that old, un."

"Tobina!" I correct. "That's a girl!"

'Yes! He killed me!' Minato hisses.

"Candy-high Tobina didn't kill you, you pshyco." Jodie laughs. "And you say I'm an idiot."

_**CLANG!**_

The ghost of Minato throws a light pan at her head.

She lays on the ground unmoving.

"Oh no! You killed her!" Tobi announces. "Is Zetsu-"

Lanie glares.

"Zetzina gonna eat her?"

"That wouldn't be right." Lanie shrugs. "We're gonna bury her like good best friends and let the maggots eat her."

"WHAT THE HELL KINDA SHIT IS THAT!" Jodie sits up and throws the pot at Lanie. "When I die, I want to be blown up in an important building! Like the hokage's office!"

"Ok, ok." I shrug. "No need to get mad."

"Is Mina-ghost still here?" She sighs. "He's wasting his time."

'I know he killed me! Look! Look what he's doing!'

We turn back and stare at Tobi, cowering behind Jodie.

"I'm not to sure how this works, considering your a foot taller than me." She comments.

'But... But...'

"Your mistaken, go haunt Orochimaru." Sasori mutters.

Minato sighs, 'I guess I was wrong.'

He disapears, after throwing another pot at Jodie.

"Ow! Why does he keep throwing cooking supplies at me?" She rubs her head.

"Let's just... Go to sleep and forget this ever happened." Pein sighs, cuddling back up into his pillow.

"Yeahhh, let's do that..."

I couldn't fall asleep though.

I layed there a few seconds more, before sitting up and getting a midnight snack.

We didn't really eat much pizza.

After searching the fridge, freezer, cabnets, and deep freezer, I settle on a Fruit Roll-up.

I glance back then freeze.

I turn fully around and stare at Jodie and Tobi(Tobina?) cuddled together in there sleep.

Ahhh, how cute.

Clueless lovers.

_**THE NEXT MORNING...**_

**Jodie's P.O.V**

Hahaha! It's in my epic point of view once again.

Mmkay, time to wake up.

..No...wait... Few more seconds... Ok, now I'm up.

I try to sit up, but totally fail because of some extra weight.

Tobi was basically using me as a pillow.

"Why does everyone want to smush the smallest person?" I whisper, pushing him off. "V for victory!"

Stupid Sakura got that in my head!

Deidara sticks out his foot, and I go crashing down.

Oh screw this, I'm going to sleep.

"Jodie, un?" He pokes me. "You still alive?"

"Yeah." I grunt.

"Awww."

_**SMACK.**_

"WHAT THE FUCK, UN!"

"You tried to kill me!"

"I was kidding, un!"

"And? That still hurt..."

Deidara pats my head, "Sure it did, un."

"Ghoooost."

Minato is back.

_**'That's it! I know that bitch killed me!'**_ He roars.

"...Tobina's sleep." I point.

Well that just pisses him off more.

"Peiiin, Minato's back!" Lanie whines. "Make him shut up! I'm sleeping!"

Ghosts get pissed off so fast...

He roars and starts after the now awake Tobi.

"RUN TOBI! RUN!" Lanie laughs, falling back. "Jodie's after you!"

Tobi is up and running.

"Psh! Pft! Hey!" I protest. "That's mean!"

"Who you gonna call?" Lanie whispers loud enough for everyone to hear.

"GHOST BUSTERS!" Kristy bursts in with the vacum cleaner.

She sucks up Minato and calls it a day.

"That joke is offcialy dead." Kakuzu chuckles.

"Hey!" Kristy grumbles, then whispers something to Lanie giggling.

"Excuse me!" Kakuzu hisses.

"Kakuzu's a-" Lanie jumps up. "Big booty bitch! I got big booty bitches!"

Kakuzu lashes out at her and wraps his tentacles around her.

"Hahaha! So worth it!"

"I like, red flavored Kool-Aid!" I announce.

Everyone just stares.

"You mean... Cherry?" Kisame stares.

"Nooo, I mean red flavor."

More stares.

"It's called cherry, un."

"No, it's called red."

"Cherry, un."

"FUCKING RED FLAVORED KOOL-AID! SCREW CHERRY FLAVOR!" I storm off.

"...Well then, un."

"My back hurts." I grumble, sitting in Pein's lap.

"Who cares?" Lanie comments, with her head in my lap and her feet on Kristy.

"That's what happens when you fall out the bed." Kristy comments.

"Who asked you two?" I grumble.

"Would you get off my lap?" Pein mutters.

"Sorry Penny, your to comfy." I shrug.

He(she?) says something under his breath that I couldn't hear.


	10. The jutsu

**(2 Months later)**

I hadn't meant to keep them as girls for so long but... It was to fun.

Pein was mad.

He was ranting at me and Lanie, while Kristy watched.

"Penny, calm down!" Lanie jokes, earning a glare. "Let's just change everyone back right now!"

Pein takes a deep breath.

"It's very hard to take you serious with that squeaky voice of yours." I comment.

"SHINRA TENSEI!" She(He?) snaps, blasting me into the nearest wall.

I ended up going through, ending up in the bathroom.

And Itachi was taking a shower.

"It wasn't me! It was Penny-sama!" I sit up. "Ohhhhh yessss, she fixed my baaack!"

Pein glares at me, so I shut up... For now.

We gather everyone into the living room and Pein looks to us expectantly.

"Lanie, get the jitsu!" I elbow her.

"I thought YOU had it?" She hisses.

"Ohhh, we're in trouble."

Lanie looks for it, and I play Go Fish with Kisame.

"We really need to teach you Poker." Kisame grumbles.

"Sure thing Kisa-chan."

"WHY AREN'T YOU HELPING!" Pein roars.

"I'm playing go fish, squeaky."

"Shinra Tensei!"

"Ow! Ok! I'll help look for it!" I pull myself out the pile of stuff I landed in.

I think Pein found a new way to contain me...

We tear half the house apart looking for the piece of paper with the jitsu, and find it under the couch.

We set up and stuff, and they have me and Lanie do it as punishment.

_**Lightning, Monkey, Ox, Tiger, Dog, Cat, Ox, sheep, Boar, Tiger, Cat.**_

_**POOF!**_

And I fall face first into the ground, passed out.

"A...Ah..."

* * *

**Well guys, that;s it for THIS story. But don't worry! There's a sequal! It shall be called: Hollywood Fever! Hehehe! Prepare yourself for more awesomeness! And one more question: Who belives Jodie's anime gods are real? XD**


End file.
